Turned out to be pneumonia. :(
Though... I prefer to think of it as gnome-monia.
Pneumonia sounds like something old ladies get in the hospital when they "just went in for a hip replacement". But I've already had the partial hip-replacement, so maybe I was due for another old lady problem. Oh, and my spleen up and quit on me, so there's that too.
Oh, life... you little bitch.