30 December, 2010

My big, fat, gross, bummer.

Tempeh Jambalaya
Black Bean Caesar Salad
Zucchini Beet Roll
Coconut Mushroom Soup

Yeah... I don't think the Linnaea's lunch menu could have failed any harder today. :,(

14 December, 2010

An Mei and the faux Foodland cashier...

Amber is my oldest friend. My best friend. The one I made as a little kid and still genuinely enjoy with all my heart. We grew up in a tiny community on a little island in the middle of a big ocean and in hindsight, we were a little.... isolated. Buffered. Sheltered. And (both only children), somewhat immature. But it's ok, because we still had so much fun. Though we live a few thousand miles apart now, we still have so much fun.

Here's a little texting conversation we had this afternoon:

Me: I just found a note to you that says- "'You used to be cute, now you're just a flat-faced Jap!' Pffft! You WISH, hapa glama girl! <3, C"

Amber: UMMMMM. Circa WHEN?

Amber: The actual Jade C. quote was "fat, flat-faced nap"!

Amber: Can you believe the nerve of that COW???????!!!!!!!!!!!

Amber: Flat-faced NAP??? Oh my god, I'm going to throw this phone into the street!!!!!

Amber: Droid FAIL

Amber: Am I even making sense right now? I'm having a low blood sugar episode. Sorry. :-!

Me: I got locked out of my house when I took out the rubbish right after I sent you that text, so six messages waiting for me was super entertaining.

Amber: The sad part is all of those were sent in like a 10 sec time frame...nutsowat

Amber: And nutjob here found a birthday card for Evelyn while cleaning... that was for her birthday last year. Nice job, Aunty An Mei.

Me: No, I cannot believe what a gross cow Jade was. I've been ging through old photos (I have lots), and I'm so sad to see just HOW nerdy I was. People hear "nerd" now and they think 'Awww... nerdy-cute'. No. Nerdy NERD. It's not the same. It's high waisted pants with a button up shirt buttoned all the way up. It's hours spent playing "Foodland" cashier ALONE. It's wearing spandex pants to your 4-H delegates' meetings and eating way too much KFC mashed potatos. :,(

Amber: but Coral... you WEREN'T alone... That is the truly sad part. :O

Me: I know, An Mei... I know.

Amber: Papino Library, anyone?! "We treat our customers like we treat our books"?

Amber: Coral, you WERE nerdy-cute, stop being such a fork about it.


Me: I have pictures that say otherwise. But it's ok. At least we skipped the whole beach and smoking pot thing. And walking around in sports bras with shorts.

Amber: We did cuter and cleverer things precisely because of the non-wearing of sports bras.

Me: Agreed.

Post Script...

"Jade" was a relentless (and grossly overweight) bully who tormented us throughout elementary and intermediate school. I think in high school he just got lost in the crowd.

"Foodland" was our local grocery store and later, a favorite hangout and the setting for our umpteen pointless teenage-years home videos.

"Papino Library" was... yes, our imaginary library.

Also, there are exactly three references to The Joy Luck Club in this exchange. Notice none of them are acknowledged, but we both know they're there. This is why I love her so much. Well... that and she owns countless hours of blackmail footage on VHS, so I have to. :)
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