28 February, 2010

Oh, I'm just swell... :)

You know that scene in a million different movies where the protagonist hits rock bottom, and decides enough is enough? And then the music gets loud and it’s always a really go-get-’em sort of tune… and there’s no dialogue, just the awesome rock song, and said protagonist starts getting their shiz together and kicking ass? They clean up their house, throw away their crap, dress better, eat better, exercise… get a job… or take their current job more seriously and just... I don't know- generally advance.
I know you know what I’m talking about.

Anyway… *cue up-tempo rock*

I’ve got so many amazing ideas, they're just flowing out of me from the moment I crack my eyes open in the morning. Sometimes even before that. I'm sleeping well, I’m happy and incredibly motivated… getting lots done. I’ve thrown away SO MUCH crap. I feel lighter. Better. I’m feeling super strong and healthy, reading more, working hard, soaking in good information and letting go of the junky stuff and the icky people. I’m writing more, cooking and baking for fun, building teepee’s with the babes, taking long walks… I’m even *gasp* socializing recreationally and by choice (in small doses). There are words, and pages, and paintings, and work-related inspiration spilling out of me in puddles.

They're chalkboard-black and pamplemousse flavored. I'm lucky and appreciative of it.

Admittedly, I did have one major hiccup in the past couple of days, but I think that’s over with now. I hope. It was a make-me or break-me kind of thing, and I’m not letting that fucking shit break me any more. Not worth it. Though I’m not quite at the “wish you well” phase... I mean, you think you know someone... You give them so much more credit than they deserve. You admire them and look up to them... and look to them. They're hypocrites and they're liars and in the end, inevitably, they will let you down. They will knock themselves off of the pedestal you built for them. It shouldn't take 31 years to learn this. So for now I’m just trying to ignore it and focus on the big turning point moment in the movie of my life. It's going really, really well.

That’s all.

And right now I'm listening to: The Mountain Goats- Cotton


♡~:nanners:~♡ said...

oh!!!!! i am SO delighted to read this! yipyip

Anonymous said...

cerezas y TATA'S!!
muy bueno, muy-licious!

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