My big, fat, gross, bummer.

Tempeh Jambalaya
Black Bean Caesar Salad
Zucchini Beet Roll
Coconut Mushroom Soup

Yeah... I don't think the Linnaea's lunch menu could have failed any harder today. :,(

An Mei and the faux Foodland cashier...

Amber is my oldest friend. My best friend. The one I made as a little kid and still genuinely enjoy with all my heart. We grew up in a tiny community on a little island in the middle of a big ocean and in hindsight, we were a little.... isolated. Buffered. Sheltered. And (both only children), somewhat immature. But it's ok, because we still had so much fun. Though we live a few thousand miles apart now, we still have so much fun.

Here's a little texting conversation we had this afternoon:

Me: I just found a note to you that says- "'You used to be cute, now you're just a flat-faced Jap!' Pffft! You WISH, hapa glama girl! <3, C"

Amber: UMMMMM. Circa WHEN?

Amber: The actual Jade C. quote was "fat, flat-faced nap"!

Amber: Can you believe the nerve of that COW???????!!!!!!!!!!!

Amber: Flat-faced NAP??? Oh my god, I'm going to throw this phone into the street!!!!!

Amber: Droid FAIL

Amber: Am I even making sense right now? I'm having a low blood sugar episode. Sorry. :-!

Me: I got locked out of my house when I took out the rubbish right after I sent you that text, so six messages waiting for me was super entertaining.

Amber: The sad part is all of those were sent in like a 10 sec time frame...nutsowat

Amber: And nutjob here found a birthday card for Evelyn while cleaning... that was for her birthday last year. Nice job, Aunty An Mei.

Me: No, I cannot believe what a gross cow Jade was. I've been ging through old photos (I have lots), and I'm so sad to see just HOW nerdy I was. People hear "nerd" now and they think 'Awww... nerdy-cute'. No. Nerdy NERD. It's not the same. It's high waisted pants with a button up shirt buttoned all the way up. It's hours spent playing "Foodland" cashier ALONE. It's wearing spandex pants to your 4-H delegates' meetings and eating way too much KFC mashed potatos. :,(

Amber: but Coral... you WEREN'T alone... That is the truly sad part. :O

Me: I know, An Mei... I know.

Amber: Papino Library, anyone?! "We treat our customers like we treat our books"?

Amber: Coral, you WERE nerdy-cute, stop being such a fork about it.

Amber: DORK!!!! I HATE THIS PHONEEEEEEEEEE

Me: I have pictures that say otherwise. But it's ok. At least we skipped the whole beach and smoking pot thing. And walking around in sports bras with shorts.

Amber: We did cuter and cleverer things precisely because of the non-wearing of sports bras.

Me: Agreed.

Post Script...

"Jade" was a relentless (and grossly overweight) bully who tormented us throughout elementary and intermediate school. I think in high school he just got lost in the crowd.

"Foodland" was our local grocery store and later, a favorite hangout and the setting for our umpteen pointless teenage-years home videos.

"Papino Library" was... yes, our imaginary library.

Also, there are exactly three references to The Joy Luck Club in this exchange. Notice none of them are acknowledged, but we both know they're there. This is why I love her so much. Well... that and she owns countless hours of blackmail footage on VHS, so I have to. :)

Deux semaines à Paris ...

A little peek into my Paris trip last month...

This is me after about 20 hours without sleep, and a 9 hour time-change. Pretty!

Concorde fountain in front of Hotel de Crillon.

Fraises! I loved these little fruit boxes so much.

This is by far one of my favorite pictures from the trip, because you can clearly see the affect of my over-eating EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. that I spent there. My mother calls this "the jellybean"- because with my butt and belly sticking out, I'm shaped like one. I said beforehand that I was planning to pack on 5 Lbs of exquisite French fat as a souvenir- and my God, I really tried. Alors là... it went away about a week after I got home. Oh, and this was taken at our awesome excursion to le marche puces aux Porte Clignancourt. This is the oldest flea market in Paris, and it absolutely floored me. I wanted to rent a Matson container and ship every inch of it home with me.

So this is the provenance of all those shabby-chic, vintage replica tchotchkes- except these are the REAL thing, people! They make everything else look so stupid. No wonder the French feel superior... even their old rubbish is something everyone else tries to emulate. Rachel Ashwell so wishes she was French.

An elephant skull. AN ELEPHANT SKULL! What the WHA?

This is Amélie Poulain's cafe. We ate a very yummy lunch here and got wee bit tipsy on Ricards.

Maybe my number one favorite photo from Paris. The Bensimon store is also located on this street. Oh my gosh... seriously! Bensimon kills me. I bought a new pair for myself and some child-size souvenirs. ;)

You know I don't eat ice cream, right? Umm... when I heard "rose glacé", I totally forgot about that. After praying in Notre Dame, I like to enjoy a nice little rose flavored gelato. You know... no big deal.

Cafe Flore! I ate the most incredible gaspacho here and just sat in awe.

Our metro home-stop was Concorde. Can you even believe this tile work? It stretched in an arch, all the way across the tracks and the entire length of the station. Huge. I was so in love with this spot.

For that matter, I was completely head-over-heels in love with this entire City. France has wrapped its fist around my heart. Every negative preconception was squashed and every fantasy was magnified by the reality of this sparkling City. The people were incredible. The food... the architecture... the history... le Rue de Bac... Murakami in Versailles... ducks in the Tuilleries... sailing pirate ships in Luxembourg gardens... ferrying down the Seine... sticking stickers... oggling street signs... shopping... Champs-Elysées by dawn... Tour Eiffel by night... and every magical moment between. I miss this place so much, I can't even bear to reset my watch.

Sooo, how do you feel about...

This socks and heels business?

I'm kinda on the fence. On one hand, I love the girlishness of it, and you know- I'm a sucker for anything conjuring the Fruits images of Harajuku* and the coquette street-wear girls. But on the other hand, I feel like unless you've got insanely long legs, this particular ankle break can really cut you down to size in a very unflattering line. Also, personally it's hard for me to have a bare leg in a full-coverage shoe; something about it feels very hard to wear for me- but I'll spare you that tangent. Though I must say, that slouchy sweater sock (second from last) at the Michael Kors Paris show might sway me. YUM!

*the street in Japan, not the Gwen Stefani brand.

Photos in no particular order (sorry, I'm not an organized person):
Sartorialist, Bensoni, Wildfox, Cynthia Rowley, Michael Kors.

This is what happens...

This is what happens when Kandy-pants and I drink champagne for dinner, and someone leaves a camera unattended.